Equipping Kingdom Women to Occupy

Understanding our identity in Christ is not just a spiritual formality; it’s a foundational truth that influences every aspect of our lives, including our careers and our relationships. When we are unaware of our true identity as daughters of the King, it can have profound effects on how we interact in our romantic partnerships, parenting styles, and friendships. As we mature and enter into our later years, where meaningful relationships become even more significant, the stakes are higher. A misaligned identity can lead to strained or superficial connections, affecting our well-being and the richness of our lives.

Romantic Relationships

When we do not recognize ourselves as worthy and loved by God, we might seek validation through romantic relationships. This can manifest as:

  • Insecurity: Needing constant reassurance from a partner, which can lead to clinginess or suspicion.
  • Poor Boundaries: Failing to say no or uphold personal values due to fear of rejection.
  • Dependence: Relying on a partner for happiness and fulfillment instead of finding joy in Christ.

Such dynamics not only put undue pressure on the relationship but also hinder our ability to love authentically, freely, and unconditionally, as we are called to do.


A lack of understanding of our divine worth can also impact how we raise our children:

  • Overbearing Behavior: Trying to live vicariously through our children’s achievements because we haven’t embraced our accomplishments or identity.
  • Conditional Affection: Showing love based on performance, which may reflect our misunderstanding of God’s unconditional love for us.
  • Inconsistency: Swinging between permissiveness and strictness, reflecting our internal conflicts and insecurities.

These behaviors can confuse and alienate children, who thrive on consistent, unconditional love and clear boundaries.


In friendships, not knowing our identity in Christ might lead to:

  • Competitiveness: Feeling threatened by friends’ successes rather than celebrating them.
  • Superficiality: Avoiding deep connections to prevent others from seeing our perceived flaws.
  • Manipulation: Using friendships for personal gain rather than mutual support and growth.

These tendencies can prevent the formation of deep, supportive friendships that reflect the love and mutual respect taught in the Scriptures.

Impact in Later Years

As we age, the importance of fulfilling and genuine relationships becomes even more pronounced. Without a firm grasp of our identity in Christ, we risk becoming isolated because:

  • Resentment: Accumulated grievances based on past hurts can lead us to push people away, preventing reconciliation and healing.
  • Rigidity: Holding onto rigid views or being unwilling to forgive can alienate us from loved ones, including children and life partners.
  • Lack of Empathy: Without recognizing our value in Christ, we may struggle to empathize with the struggles and successes of others, leading to judgment rather than support.
  • These issues can culminate in a lonely old age, surrounded by acquaintances rather than true companions, and distant family relationships rather than close bonds. When loved ones feel they are constantly being judged or undervalued, they may withdraw, seeking more affirming relationships elsewhere.

Signs of Not Knowing We Are Daughters of the King

The impact of not knowing our identity in Christ manifests distinctly in various relationships:

  • Romantic Relationships: We may find ourselves in patterns of unsatisfying relationships, where we either dominate or are overly submissive, reflecting our unmet needs for security and significance.
  • Parenting: We might either be overly critical or indifferent, struggling to model the grace and love that are integral to Christian teachings.
  • Friendships: We may frequently feel betrayed or misunderstood, often changing friends when they seem to get too close or know too much.

The Way Forward

The path to understanding our identity in Christ involves deepening our relationship with God through prayer, scripture study, and fellowship with other believers who reinforce these truths. It’s about replacing lies with truth—recognizing that we are indeed cherished, valuable, and empowered to build healthy, loving relationships.

By embracing our identity in Christ, we can approach relationships with humility and strength, ensuring our interactions are marked by grace, love, and mutual respect. This not only enriches our lives but also glorifies God in how we relate to others. In our later years, this foundation will support enduring, meaningful connections that provide comfort, joy, and mutual support.

Understanding our identity in Christ transforms every interaction, allowing us to live fully in the freedom and love He offers. This isn’t just about improving our relationships; it’s about fulfilling our divine purpose and experiencing life as God intended, surrounded by love and community.

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